There are times I must tell students that what they are doing is causing more harm than good. Sometimes that is taken in good spirit, and other times… well that is what this article is about.
I remember a student that had a puppy she adored. She had done a very good job socializing him, but something was still off. He avoided her when she went to pet him. The problem? She would grab his shoulders when he came near and drag him close for a tight hug. He didn’t like it. Her intent and feelings were good natured, but most dogs don’t like these types of predatory moves by humans. Dogs don’t do this kind of thing to one another. So, it bothered him, and it was negatively affecting his Come command training. She didn’t understand why he would Come to me but was hesitant to Come to her. I explained that most dogs don’t like that kind of gesture. She took that to mean that her dog hated her. Then she got defensive with me, and within a couple of lessons, cancelled additional sessions.
Another similar situation… I was working with a shy dog that had house training issues. In a very similar fashion, the dog was intimidated by the owners. These people were good people, too, but this rescued dog was shutting down around them. Thus, if you made direct eye contact with him, he would run away. If you faced him directly, he wouldn’t Come. When you took him outside to go potty, he would hide in the bushes, and often would have accidents when let back in the home since he would leave where the owners were and would find a place down a hallway to go. I explained how they needed to be much more indirect, softer, happier and less demanding. Their relationship with the dog needed mending to fix the house training. Well, in the process of that lesson, they got offended. I kept explaining how they had to dial it back, more and more, for the dog to not only follow them into the back yard, but to potty when they were present.
Here’s the deal. When you hire me, I’m there to diagnose the problems, and prescribe the proper solutions. I’m not a bad guy. I don’t swear, yell at people, I’m not rude. But you are paying for professional advice, and I am obligated morally to give that to you. Unfortunately, some people are just not ready to hear advice at certain periods in their lives, or in some situations.
Have you ever been given advice, good advice, from a parent that you rejected but later realized that they were right? Sometimes dog training is like that. Sometimes people are just not ready to hear some things. It doesn’t make them bad people, and it doesn’t make me a bad trainer. It is just the way humans sometimes learn life lessons.
My best advice? Decide to be teachable. If you have hired an expert, then realize that they are helping you and your dog. They are there to cut to the chase and get you the best results. It might go against your grain to do it at first. Many people have preconceived ideas of what they think dog training should be about versus what it really should be about. I blame some of that on popular media. There’s what you see on TV, and then there is the reality.